Sunday, 29 January 2012
Dancing on Ice 2012 (4)
Week 4 already? Goodness.
No, wait, different show. My bad.
Anyway, good news is T&D are performing this week. So all hope is not lost.
Thankfully the introductory video answers some questions about THE BIG TWIST (which seems to be called, officially THE DUEL). Turns out each couple will be competing against another couple for immunity from the skate-off and they will also be on the ice at the same time as their opponents, sharing the same music. Jesus Christ, could they make my job of recapping any more difficult? It's already a mad dash to get as much information down as possible and now I've got to try and watch two couples at the same time? Thanks a lot, DOI producers.
Sigh, well let's get this show on the road. Judging by the following pairings, I would suggest that T&D purposefully selected celebrities of similar skating ability to go head-to-head.
Jorgie vs Matthew
Heidei vs Charlene
Chico vs Sam
Jennifer vs Sebastien
Corey vs Chemmy
Andy vs Rosemary
Chico vs Sam
Jayne informs me that both celebrities will start the routine together, then one will skate for about a minute, after which the other will take over, and that finally they will end the performance together. So they're not really sharing the ice as much as taking it in turns? .... Which I suppose is probably, technically sharing ... Ok, fine they're 'sharing' the ice. Whatever.
Skating to Under Pressure
Sam starts. He's alright. He's not amazing though and when Chico takes over he looks both faster and more in control than Sam. He also executes a couple of spin jumps better than Sam did, so overall I think Chico wins THE FIRST DUEL.
Oh apparently the judges aren't scoring tonight. So really this is just an evening of skiving all round? Only half a routine for the celebrities, and no scoring for the judges?
Oh wait, they're going back onto the ice to see who the judges are giving immunity to. I wish I'd been paying proper attention so this bloglet didn't look so shoddy.
Chico is awarded immunity.
Jennifer vs Sebastien
Sudden thought. Why is the show on for so long (1.75 hours) when they're getting through perfomances two at a time?
This week Sebastien feels uncomfortable with the dancing. He doesn't have a dancing background like Jennifer, see? Meanwhile, Jennifer is concerned about her skating ability so everyone's worried about something.
They're all in purple outfits, but not a matching purple, which irks me.
Okay, so they're all doing this take it in turns thing. I might be able to cope with this. Jennifer starts and she's a bit like the female equivalent of Sam - alright but nothing particularly special but HOLY JESUS she's doing the amazing splits-move again. While I pick my jaw up off the floor Sebastien has taken over and is doing so much better at actually skating with his partner this week. He also throws in a couple of pretty impressive jumps along the way. I think I'd vote Sebastien.
Someone have a word with the judges about rambling please. After a fair degree of faffing, Sebastien is awarded immunity.
Incidentally, I mis-hear Katerina and think she tells Jennifer she has beautiful lips - think she actually said lifts.
Another sudden thought. What's going to happen in the skate-off? The celebrities are basically skating to half a song so what happens when the other couple, who would be skating to the other half of the song, isn't there?
Corey vs Chemmy
Both were disappointed last week. Chemmy with her perfomance, Corey with the judges' score.
Because Corey is a bit of a twat, he falls out with his PROFESSIONAL skater who ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT during training. Leave, just leave Corey.
Skating to Opposites Attract
Ah ha ha ha! Corey clearly thinks he is Michael Jackson. Unfortunately he is not. He sucks at both dancing and skating. He also seems to have braided his strand of hair?
Oh good, Chemmy's skating. Compared to Corey she's a veritable Jayne Torvill. She will be given immunity.
Phillip talks to Corey and partner after they performed and asks whether they are friends now. They leave it just a nanosecond too long before answering in the affirmative. Hashtag awkward.
Chemmy is awarded immunity.
Not Holly speaks with Corey after the judges' decision and, bless him Corey thinks he's now in the game finally. You're not. People only like you for your ridiculous strand of hair.
Back from the break Phillip and Not Holly actually make me laugh with some cute banter.
T&D are skating! Christina Perri is singing ... but T&D are skating! I love them.
Heidi vs Charlene
These two are pretty evenly matched and have both been in the skate-off.
Charlene is concerned about actually having to skate this week. Heidi is worried about a lift towards the end of the routine.
Charlene kicks things off. Does she remind anyone else of Dolly Parton? Without wishing to sound like Simon Cowell, the skating is fairly average. After a while Heidi decides she's had enough of Charlene hogging the ice and so rugby tackles her to the ground in order that she and Andrei can have their turn.
I don't really mind who gets immunity out of these two. I think I prefer Charlene out of the celebrities but I definitely prefer Andrei out of the professionals.
Heidi wins immunity.
Jorgie vs Matthew
These two got the same score last week. I dislike Matthew so I'm hoping Jorgie wins immunity. Apparently they both have difficult lifts to master. Jorgie tells me that in one of her lifts she is spinning so fast that she could take off. That's not strictly true, is it?
This is going to be awesome, isn't it? There are silver trousers and everything. Matthew starts. He even has the cheek to do that controlled falling over move. Dammit he's good. I think he's painted his nails, this is never a good look on a man. Jorgie takes over. She's ace but I don't know if it's enough to win immunity over Matthew. I'm nervous for her.
Damn. It. Matthew wins immunity. I'm off to sulk for a bit.
Rosemary vs Andy
Another two which are fairly evenly matched - first week Rosemary scored better, second week Andy scored better.
Skating to Baby It's Cold Outside which is a Christmas song because it's on our Christmas album. Why are they skating to a Christmas song? It's almost February.
I'm going to be honest and confess that we started dinner during this perfomance and because I'm a lazy recapper I can't be bothered to watch the last 5 minutes on itv player later on. Instead, I shall mention how much Andy looks like a proboscis monkey. Here is proof.
And with that, I leave you with news that Rosemary wins immunity and bid you adieu until the same time next week.